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Your Road Map for Your Journey Ahead Through Grief and Loss Life is not about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.                                      ~ Lolly Daskal Since the beginning of this new journey in April 2017, I’ve learned much more than at any other time. I have gained life lessons infused with immensely profound truth and wisdom. I’ve grown in ways as never before and continue to change. I have found myself experiencing things I never thought I would, in places and seasons I never imagined. This new journey through loss and grief is a twisty, turning and ever-changing, fluid path filled with struggle and emotion. What I have discovered since 2017 is that even though this has been absolutely the most challenging and hardest of the season and door to navigate through on my journey. What has allowed me to make it and keep traveling is what I learned in my earlier years. Much of what I will be taking you through in this conversation is my approach learned as a child having to navigate life with a disability. I had to use the same muscles from life lessons to overcome divorce in 2005. My system, developed from my own experiences, involves 5 keys used to unlock and navigate through the doors in my life, past, present and future. I call it Finding Grace Through Grief and Life.  I came up with this one day in the Spring of 2022 when I was on the phone with my mentor who helps in another area of my work and business. Explaining to her where I felt I was and why,  I gave her a little back story about my journey and this is how the conversation went: Girl, you need to give yourself some grace. I know but I’m not very good at that. Except for the last five years, I’ve had to learn to do so while traveling through my grief. I’ve had to work on giving myself more grace. Then it hit me like another light bulb! This had much the same effect as the conversation with my bestie in late 2019 that gave me all that came from thriving. So then I thought, oh my gosh wait! I just got the most brilliant idea!  I should use that for my message and story of How to Find Grace Through Grief and be empowered to go from surviving to thriving in my life’s journey. Following the death of my beloved husband, I would once again use what I had learned previously to continue in this new path. These lessons infused with much wisdom and truth are found in the steps of G.R.A.C.E. which have proven to be most essential in allowing me to go on. In no way am I saying it’s been a walk in the park. Quite the opposite. In fact, this season of my third D of loss and grief has been absolutely the worst, but I’ve found a way through grace to thrive. Learning to find grace by using the steps of G.R.A.C.E. found in grief is why I did not drown in this life storm but kept traveling and striving. This challenging journey is definitely a process, a slow and gradual one at best. The key is to keep going. Make your own journey your own way. No one can or should tell you how to travel a road that is yours and yours alone, but I can give guidelines through an instructional manual and road map to help you navigate. Each of these essential steps works together and can be flexible to what is best for you. Your journey is similar yet different and unique to each of us to experience in our own individual way. I want to lay out for you and take you through my approach learned over a lifetime of traveling my 38DDD journey. I think it is universal no matter what doors you’re trying to navigate through and  overcome in life. This is what I call Finding G.R.A.C.E Through Grief and Life, an approach that has most certainly served me well. I will briefly give you the 5 keys here and then a deep dive into each one. In Finding Grace Through Grief, the first key to help you go from surviving to thriving is the G which represents gaining your grounding in grief. What will hold you steady and give you a firm foundation for this journey?  We all need something when those hard times come. For me, it’s my faith alone that always steadies and holds me firm. I became a follower of Christianity and Jesus Christ,  my Lord and Savior. You may choose another faith, person, friend, relative, power or belief system to keep you strong and to steady you. n these trying times. I have built a solid foundation of support with a combination of kindred spirits, especially my friends on whom I have relied a lot especially over the last several years. Clinging to them while going through loss and grief has sustained me. I would not be here having these empowering conversations of hope and opportunity otherwise.  The R in G.R.A.C.E. represents daring to redesign by redefining and redirecting your course. This is about what we will choose as we navigate this new journey in our lives. Here are two analogies I like to use. First, think of playing a game of cards whether it be Poker, Blackjack or any other game in which you’re dealt a hand. It’s just simply the luck of the draw. You can’t count on getting an Ace of Spades or whatever you need or desire. The goal is to win, and hopefully, you’re a strategic player. That’s what you have control over. Strategy. You don’t have control over what cards you draw, but you do get to decide what you do with them. That’s the way it is with me and my life’s journey and for all of us.  Here’s another way of looking at

Discovering How Not Just to Survive but Thrive You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.                            ~Marianne Williamson    The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy,   I came that they may have life   and have abundantly.                          ~John 10:10  Now to him who is able to do  far more abundantly than all that  we ask or think, according to the  power at work within us.                          ~Ephesians 3: 20  Since the third knock at my door in life on April 4, 2017 with the news of my beloved’s death, my journey has been to learn and figure out how to continue and follow this new path. I can say arguably, maybe more so than at any other time of my life, I have learned the most. This process of grief and loss is definitely complicated and messy. It’s a fluid and ever-evolving journey. There is so much involved that it can feel as if it’s a large, never-ending, entangled plate of spaghetti. Another way of looking at it is like a blooming onion with endless layers that may become not the least bit savory or delicious. I learned there are no easy answers or written instructions for this process. It’s not like your husband dies, and you’re told, here’s the step-by-step instructions or play-by-plays in the grief and loss playbook of what to do now. That would be just too easy and just great to be handed that when starting this journey.  I was quickly having to face my harsh, unexpected new reality of sudden widowhood and solo parenting of our six- and three-year-old by age 38. All on my own, engulfed by grief and loss, in the initial days and year I was on autopilot, shocked and numb. I literally was doing just what I had to. It was truly like treading to keep my head above water. All I could do was ask what do I have to do next? Something I would soon discover to the contrary was my thinking the first year would be worse. Not so. For me it was actually my saving Grace because I wasn’t really feeling everything yet. Throughout the second year reality truly set in. During the first two-and-a-half years I was feeling stuck all the time in every direction. In any life storm like this one, many of us can find ourselves getting pulled down by the strong undertow and pinned. down. We can become paralyzed, unable to get out from under and find a way to swim back to shore. I know at least for me this was the case. I couldn’t see a way to get unstuck from the mindset I was in. I talked about having to shift, and even though I knew I needed to, I could not get out of the way of my thoughts. Once the shift occurred I felt, oh, okay! Now I can do (fill in the blank) and continue on my path.  In my journey at this point I had the same unchanging thoughts circling like on a hamster wheel that I couldn’t get off. I knew I didn’t want to lose our life together, but I didn’t know what the future held. I could not leave that behind, but we had to move in a new direction. This felt weird to me and painfully wrong. Moving on without John was unbearable and unimaginable. How could I survive apart from him, our love, our story and life together?  At times I felt as if I were going at a snail’s pace, further backward than forwards. However, a defining moment came in December of 2018, one that completely changed the trajectory of my journey and how I proceeded forever after. This is where I began the process of going from surviving to thriving in grief and loss.  It was late December of 2018, and at this point in my journey of love, loss and life, I had been traveling for a little over a year and a half. I was fast approaching the two-year mark in April of 2019. On this particular evening before the New Year, my bestie and I decided to hang out at her house. Since our kids are the best of friends, they wanted to hang out, too, which was good for us as a chance to have a girl-time chat. It was a win/win. So that is what we did. Once the kids were happily playing, my bestie and I went out on her back porch to enjoy the nice evening breeze and our girl talk. We have for the last few years, like so many, thought about what we wanted for the New Year and what our goal would be to strive for. Also, we like to come up with our “word for the year.”  In 2018 we decided it would be more of a phrase, “Follow the path!” Although I had been traveling my journey through love, loss and grief the last 18 months plus, at this point, I was feeling very much stuck and couldn’t figure out how to move on. I knew I was nowhere I wanted to be. I wanted what I had before but couldn’t. I was beyond petrified of going forward in a direction that would take me further away from my John, my Noah, our love and our life together. I didn’t know how to continue and risk letting go or forgetting. I didn’t want that. I was truly at a loss. As my bestie and I sat on her back porch, she chose her word for the year as “bloom” because she wanted to grow, be fruitful, and blossom, as all beautiful things bloom in life. I remember loving it for her, knowing that it was perfect. I remember chatting about my struggle to find my word for the year, and I shared how I felt completely stuck and afraid of losing what I had. Thoughtfully, she was

ECHO This! The Knock at the Door of My Life That Changed Everything  Be miserable. Or motivate yourself.  Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.                                                                                                     ~ Wayne Dyer Life is very much a quest and a journey. As we follow a path, we will go through phases, and in certain seasons we will come across several doors. When we hear the knocks on those doors, we have to decide to open or close the one that is in front of us. We must choose whether or not to receive or reject what is on the other side of each door we face. These knocks at the doors of our lives are either obstacles or opportunities. In the moment when we hear each one, it is a potential challenge or a gift. The gift may be the lessons of wisdom and truth that enter the door perceived through our own looking glass. Regardless of what awaits us on the other side, it is our decision to choose what we will do with what greets us as we open each door in our paths on our journey in life.  In these next three conversations, I invite you to come along with me on my quest and journey that has been interrupted by three knocks on my life’s doors. In your willingness to follow, I will guide you through what it has been like to encounter each door, learn to navigate through all three and to travel what I call my 38DDD journey from surviving to thriving in all things in life. Curious? Well, hold on. This is a quest and all things will be revealed in good time, because good things come to those who wait.  In any good story or journey one must start at the beginning. So for the purpose of our quest, the very best place is to introduce myself and share with you a bit before we embark on navigating through the doors on my journey. I’m a mother of two children and we live in Louisiana. As a multi-published author, speaker and creator of five diverse series on a range of topics, I share my heartfelt meditations on the subjects that I’m passionate about. It is through my books that I ECHO my story and message from my life experiences and lessons infused with wisdom and truth.  My message that I want to ECHO is this: we don’t get a free pass from the hard times in life. It’s not a question of if but a question of when, how many, to what degree and what kind of challenges you go through. Y’all may not go through what I do, and I won’t go through what you all face. But there’s still something to overcome, and it takes a lot, even though each struggle has its own idiosyncrasies and nuances. It’s like muscle memory. Once you learn how to respond to the knocks, navigate the doors of life and overcome in life. You can respond again and again with the same effective skill set. If you can’t move the mountain, you have to find a way around it. I learned how to go around, above, under and over the mountains as well as many other skills early on in my life that have proven immensely and essentially useful as I have navigated through all three of the doors in my life that makeup my 38DDD.  I write because I want to share my message to help you understand that if I can do it, y’all can do it, too. We all go through struggles, tribulations and challenges. I want to help you understand that you can learn how to navigate through your own doors and overcome what is behind each door if you just choose to. I want to encourage and inspire you; I strive to be relevant and relatable. Show me a person who can’t relate. I want to help empower you to go from surviving to thriving in all things in life but learning how to navigate through your doors that are in your path as you journey through life.  Just who is Michaela S. Cox? I’ve always found it intriguing to identify with certain fictional characters. A good way to give you insight to peer into my looking glass and see how I view the world is through exploring some of them. I’ve always loved Ariel because I’m a redhead, have blue eyes and love anything water. I would live in the water if I could! I’ve always been so intrigued by mermaids. Also, I remember when I was a kid relating to Big Bird. He was different and unique, and I knew I was, too. He was happy, friendly, bright and fun. I remember sensing that I wanted to be my own unique, joyful, friendly self and shine my true self and bright colors, able to be me and accepted for who I was and am now.  As I have come into my adulthood, owning who I am with all my bright purple feathers of individuality, uniqueness, and true colors, I consider myself to be a purple odd duck and I don’t give a fn@k (lol)! Remember I’m a redhead and southern Texas girl and a Scorpio who lives up to said reputation. Later as I became a mom, one of my favorite movies in our house was Finding Nemo. My favorite character was Dory, the blue fish. I loved that all the time she said, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!” I feel that fits so well with me. All my life I tried and strived just to keep swimming, no matter what, to thrive. Going forward, I ECHO the attributes of these characters that have become the keys to unlocking and navigating through the doors that led me from surviving to thriving.  Now that you know a little about me and have been given a peek into my looking glass, I’m sure you have been wondering what I meant

Before the Clock Strikes Midnight My Wish for You… In going to the wishing well and thinking about all the wishes I have wished for you, my treasures, one that comes to mind is the words of the song by Rascal Flats. I’m quite sure that my Princess Belle, you little sweetheart, will be singing, thrilled and tickled pink to know I’m referencing a country song that you happen to love, and the group as well. Don’t get too excited. It won’t happen often. Anyway, it’s a great song filled with much truth and wisdom. There are many pearls in this song by Rascal Flats. I wish that you would hear the words of this song and take them to heart. I wish that you would listen to these words and be guided by them as you travel your own journey in this life. I wish that you would try to live out these words as you continue on your path in this life. These are the things I wish for you.  In their song, Rascal Flats says that it is hoped that the days come easy and the moments pass slow. The thought in this wish is that in this life as you continue to travel your journey you will not find there to be many hard days filled with much difficulty, pain, and suffering. The part of this lyric is that time and the moments will go by slowly so that you may sock them in and not let them pass you by. The second wish found in these lyrics is the idea that whatever path you chose to take and travel, I want for my treasures to have it led you where you want to be and go in your life. A third wish to found in this song is the wish that when you are faced with choices (and you will be, that’s what life is, choices) that you choose what really matters to you and means the most to you in your life.  In finding your way may you, as the song says, never, ever give up, no matter what may come your way. If you find a closed door, because one thing ends or closes there will be another door to open and go through as you travel this journey. Never give up until you find the open door that is for you. Go through and keep traveling, carrying on, and seeking to find what awaits you. The last wish of the first verse talks about always showing this world your smile and the warmth of your spirit and heart. I say this is the idea of doing any and everything to the best of your abilities. In all things be kind and courageous.  The middle part of the song, the chorus, is having what you want out of life and that you be what you want and hope for. I want your lives to be what you desire and hope for, my treasures. I also want you to always chase, follow, and live your dreams. Never, ever give up on your dreams, and may the dreams you dream always be big. At the same time, as in the song, I wish you not to have many worries in your life or for you to be burdened with a load to carry that is more than you hold. If it ever is, may you lean on me and know who you can lean on.  The last part of the chorus is a wish for the most important thing in this life: love. I hope that you will find the perfect one for you to love and be loved by and to have travel with you on your journey in life, who sees what you seek. I wish for my treasures to have and know a love as I had with your daddy. I wish for you to have them with you as you are chasing your dreams, living your life, and traveling your journey.  As this song continues to the third verse, it has more pearls of wisdom that I wish for you and want you to draw from this wishing well. Even though in this life we are supposed to not look back and continue on forward, I wish for you not to forget your daddy’s love for you and my love for you. I wish you to never forget all who love you and that you have always been and will forever be loved. I want you not to forget where you came from in this life and where your journey began. Let these things carry you along your journey in life. A life filled with regret is not a life lived well, so as the song said, I wish you may live your life without regret and to forgive easily and often. May you also notice, find, and take the chances when presented and given to help others that you cross paths within your journey.  Some final wishes I wish for you take from the wishing well that is in this song is that you always find God’s grace in your life even in the mistakes you will make. Last but not least, may you, my treasures, always give more than you have been given and do so with a glad and cheerful heart. These are the wishes I tell you and hope you take from the well. In your journey may you always and forever know my love for you and that I will always and forever love you all my days with all my heart. I wish for you to stay true to yourself and your dreams. I wish you keep and follow your path as you journey in this life. I wish for you never to forget these things I wish for you. I wish for you to always take and carry these wishes with you as you continue to travel your journey, my treasures.  The Words

Take a Breath, Take s Sip & Go…. My House of Cards In My Journey Through Motherhood Growing up, I saw people try the challenge of building a house made of cards. I always wondered about what made it possible. how did it work? How was it able to stand? What would cause it to fall. I never quite got the hang of it growing up, but I found it to be all so curious and intriguing. Looking at a house of cards one minute it seemed to be falling, falling, falling; but, oh wait, no, it was steady, steady; but then, oh no! It would finally come tumbling down into a pile of cards waiting to be built again. As I started my journey as a mommy with the birth of my daughter in 2010, I felt like I was constructing my own house of cards of motherhood and parenting. I remember having  moments throughout my days of complete panic, fear, anxiety, or worry. I felt like I was falling just as a house built from cards, and I wanted to be and feel steady in my ability as a new mommy. Then, other moments or days, and sometimes in the same day moments apart, I would have moments of feeling rock steady and like my house of cards of motherhood would stand on a firm foundation of my ability.  In those early moments of my journey as a new mommy, I found myself wondering a few things. I asked, “Why, from moment to moment or day to day, would I feel as if I was falling, and then I would feel steady. I wondered what caused me to feel one way or another; either fragile, unsteady or solid and confident. While I journeyed as a mommy, I pondered how could I build the type of house of cards in motherhood that I wanted as a mommy, for my daughter and my family. I wanted my house of cards in my motherhood to be one of strength, steadfast and confident in my ability. I wanted to keep from being fragile, unsteady, and falling in my ability as I journeyed through my motherhood. The answers I was seeking and at first seemed to struggle to find, but they came along easily enough in time as I traveled on and gained knowledge, experience, and my life lessons in motherhood.  The first question of why that from moment to moment or day to day, I would feel either as if I was falling or standing strong was dealt with as I discovered some answers. In time would come solutions. One of these answers was, “Oh yeah! Remember, you’re still dealing with crazy insane hormones.” I mean, I did just give birth. Also, another explanation was it was a result of being new to this motherhood thing and trying to figure me out, my body, my new precious baby girl, this thing called motherhood, and having no experience at all. Thus, this had a direct impact on me, causing me to feel so different and in opposites ends of the spectrum of motherhood. In part it was the hormones which influenced my mood and thinking. A larger piece to the question was that in all things in motherhood I was learning the lay of the land and swimming in new, unfamiliar, and uncharted waters. I had moments of feeling confident, firmly planted, and rock steady. Then there were the things and areas where I was sinking or continually bumping them into blindly or had less experience. Those made me feel moments of, “What if I make mistakes, don’t get it right, or fail my daughter and in motherhood?” The answer to the final question came to me as I journeyed on; realizing, understanding, and choosing what kind of mother I wanted to be and wanted for my daughter to have as she was growing up. These were things like love, kindness, safety and safe environment to grow and learn in, consistency, strength, confidence, and independence, among other essential cards to be used in the creation of a strong, firm, and steady foundation for my house of cards of motherhood to be built upon for my daughter and family.  Once I had chosen the style or design for the house of cards of motherhood I wanted to build for my daughter, as I journeyed along I had to figure out and answer the question of how I would construct such house of cards of motherhood. The answer to this question and the solution of achieving this came through a few things that I learned, experienced, and saw in my journey. I saw that with every moment that I got something right, I came out standing stronger and more firmly each time. For myself, this was to be found in moments such as: when I provided excellent and healthy food, was able to fix things, solve problems, comfort my daughter, successfully help her reach and achieve milestones or learn things. Through enduring, surviving, and persevering in moments of falling and feeling I had failed, I came out still strong and standing firm. Having these moments, I slowly but surely gained experience, knowledge, ability, and confidence, therefore allowing me to work on building a strong, firm, and confident house of cards in my motherhood. Moreover, these moments gave me tools, affirmation, strength, and confidence to remind myself of the good and positive affirming lessons I had learned. Also, this gave me things I could rely on during the moments I experienced feelings of utter frailty, unsteadiness, and failure. Furthermore, each day, these moments where I stood steady and firm led me to other and more frequent moments of feeling steadfast. These moments I used and still use in my journey as I strive to build a strong house of cards of my motherhood. A key to building such a foundation and house of motherhood was understanding, learning how to find and keep the balance that allowed

“We the People” Are? “We have it in our power to begin the world over again.” —Thomas Paine America as a nation, and we as a people, are unique and special—both individually and collectively. Everything we are as a people and as a nation, everything we stand for, and everything that created and shaped the foundation upon which our nation was built at its inception was unlike anything the world had ever seen. It was a story unlike any other that had been written in the pages of world history. The principles, philosophies, values, and ideas that form the cornerstone of our nation are what created the uniqueness of America and of us as a people. These are the very things woven into the threads and fibers of the fabric that forms the tapestry of our nation, defines us as Americans, and gives meaning to both the idea and the actuality of the phrase ‘We the People.’ It is this very phrase, ‘We the People,’ that serves as a summation of America—its foundation, its purpose, and our place within it as Americans. These words are where we begin and where we end. They are simple yet extraordinarily complex, and, at the end of the day, so much of what America represents can be distilled into this phrase: ‘We the People.’ These three simple yet complex words define us and our nation. They cannot be overlooked, ignored, disregarded, abandoned, replaced, or negated. During my graduate work, I came across a quote that I will never forget because it made a profound impression on me. There is immense wisdom and truth in these words by Akhil Reed Amar, author of America’s Constitution: A Biography, which so powerfully describes and explains the profound significance of ‘We the People’: “With simple words placed in the beginning in the document’s most prominent location, the Preamble laid the foundation of all that follow. ‘We the People of the United States . . . do ordain and establish this Constitution . . .’ These three words did more than promise popular self-government. They also embodied and enacted it. Like the phrase ‘I do’ in an exchange of wedding vows and ‘I accept’ in a contract, the Preamble’s words actually perform the very thing it described. Thus, the Founders’ ‘Constitution’ was not merely a text but a deed—a constituting. We the People of ordain. In the late 1780’s this was the most democratic deed the world had ever seen.”¹ The inclusion and placement of these three simple yet profound and powerful words helped define the very direction, course, shape, and design of our nation and our identity as Americans. Furthermore, without these three words, the direction, course, shape, and design of our nation could have been immensely, drastically, and profoundly altered. These three words are fundamental to the definition of who we are as Americans and what our nation represents. You may be thinking at this point, Okay, are you being a little dramatic? Are you exaggerating or overstating the meaning, value, and importance that three words can have for a nation and its people? I absolutely do not think so. The immense, profound, and important meaning of these words cannot be overstated or exaggerated. Throughout the chapters of this book, I will discuss and examine the meaning of these words and the significant place they hold in the foundation and fabric of our nation. I will explore the meaning and definition of the phrase and idea of ‘We the People.’ I will also address what it means to be a part of ‘We the People’ and explore the purpose embodied within this phrase. Through these chapters, together we will explore, seek, and discover the answer to the question: ‘We the People’ Are? As we continue to explore this question throughout the chapters of this book, my hope and desire are that you will gain greater knowledge and understanding of the foundation of our nation. I want to offer insights that provide greater clarity and enlightenment concerning the meaning and definition of ‘We the People.’ I want to provide an opportunity for a deeper understanding of who we are as Americans and as members of ‘We the People.’ I will discuss and explore the purpose we have and the role we can serve as ‘We the People.’ May we all gain a deeper and more profound appreciation and respect for our great nation and for what it means to be Americans. May we always remember the spirit of 1776 and dare to live free.

Ripple Effect Imagine or picture yourself being near a peaceful, serene lake on a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and not one cloud in the sky. There is a little bit of a soft, cool breeze blowing and you can see it going through the trees. You hear some birds chirping away. What could be more perfect? So you go to the edge of the lake and you see some small rocks. It made you think back to when you were a kid and you skipped rocks in the creek near where you lived. So you stand at the edge and carefully consider which rock you will pick to create the perfect wave of ripples that will be sent into the peaceful serene lake once you make it skip. You pick and throw, the rock skipped, and then you see a set of ripple sent out rippling through the water as they flow across the lake. You think, yes, I did that, how cool to see it skip and flow. What a way to spend the day. As you think of this image of the perfect day and perfect ripples set off by you picking the right rock to throw into the water ponder these thoughts. Just as it is in your imagination or memory if you ever had a day like this, so is it in life and our everyday lives. You might be wondering what she is talking about and think what does one have to do with the other. Hold on. I promise I will make the connection with this flow of thoughts. There is a reason that there is a law in physics stating that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Equally the case when we tell our kids their actions or choices have consequences. I’ve personally taught my children that if you make good choices you get fun things, and just as true if you make bad choices you get not so fun consequences. This principle of with every action there is a reaction is equally true for the rock being skipped in the lake, our kids getting a reaction based on their choice of actions, and for each of us in life as we make individual choices. It creates a chain reaction that sends out a wave of ripples out around us into our pond, the ponds of others, and eventually into the collective pond of our culture. In consideration of the knowledge that with each decision we make creates a wave of impact on others and the collective feel of our culture then we must contemplate with our choices what reactions we are creating. Also, we must reflect on what kind of ripples we want to create, and thus what potential impact we want to have on those around us and in our culture. It’s been said we either contribute or containment so we must decide whether we want to create and send out bad, negative, toxic, or harmful waves of influence that contaminate or will we send out good, positive, healthy, helpful waves of influence that contribute and make a difference. In pondering these questions and choices it requires all of us to each truly consider carefully the choices we make and the actions we take. We must be aware and realize the potential influence we can have or create based on our own actions and choices. When we are considering the choices we decide to make we are always choosing between two or more things. Usually, it’s something like there is a good choice, a bad choice, a better or worse choice, or the best choice. It could be as simple as choosing between the good or bad choice. In these instances we must decide which choice we will make or which rock will pick up to toss in the waters of our pond, the pond of others, and our cultural pond. Will we choose to throw the pebbles of injustice, unrighteousness, immorality, dishonesty, disobedience, meanness, untruthfulness, being unkind, uncompassionate, unforgiving, jealousy, greed, malice, rage, hate among others that create ripples that are toxic, harmful, polluted, destructive and contaminated. We also can choose the pebbles of goodness, morality, virtue, righteousness, justice, obedience, justice, honesty, truthfulness, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, self control, contentment, a giving nature, peace, and love among others that create ripples that are healthy, helpful, uplifting, encouraging, loving, building up, and contribute to others around us in our the pond we live in. You might be saying to yourself as you read this, I get what she is saying and maybe even you agree but you are thinking how could I possibly influence or create change for anyone around me much less our cultural pond. That’s a valid question. Let’s look at it closer and break it down to this question. There are a couple of things that I would like to take under consideration. First of all, we all have a story, message, a voice, a part to play and some way of contributing no matter how small or big it may be. Secondly, we are all gifted talents to use for the purposes of helping, serving, others, doing what we are called to do by God and bring glory to Him and His name. Thirdly, consider while standing at the lake, choosing that one rock or pebble and how that pebble and the one action of throwing it into the water of the lake can set off a chain reaction of one ripple making another ripple making another ripple and so on. This is no different in real life and our lives as we pick up the pebbles representing our choices whether good or bad. If we pick bad or toxic choices then we can set into motion an influential ripple effect of harm, toxicity, and negativity that flows out into our waters, ponds of others, and then into the pond of our culture. Equally, this is

Scripture, Spirituality & Our Culture Today Spirituality, Scriptures, and Our Culture “You are the salt of the earth,  but if salt has lost its taste,  how shall its saltiness be restored?  It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.  You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket,  but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” —Matthew 5:13-16 In looking at one’s faith and journey with God there is much for one to consider. We as individuals are influenced by a wide diversity of factors. Moreover, our culture, which is collectively made up by individuals, is equally influenced by a diverse myriad of things. Some things that influence us on our micro level and then collectively influence our culture on a much larger macro scale can be one’s upbringing, childhood, family background and dynamics, economics, race, ethnicity, gender, and political views. Moreover, oftentimes these things are influenced by one’s own ideals, morals, principles, philosophies, and beliefs, which are often found in or impacted by one’s faith and religion.  These influential factors and components often define us as individuals. We each take our personal factors with us out into the world and our culture. Our culture is influenced by the collective personal factors of the members of the group. In giving consideration to the influences these have on us as individuals and on the collective culture, there are a few questions that must be reflected upon. Where does spirituality and Scripture fit into our culture? Where does our culture fit into Scripture and one’s spirituality? How do we, as believers, influence our culture and allow our culture to influence our own spirituality and our journey of faith? These questions seem to be the crux of being a believer in this day and age in the world we live in. These issues and questions of what place and influence of one’s culture a believer allows in his or her life and to what extent a believer will influence and have impact on his or her culture is at the core of one’s life and faith journey. I have debated this numerous times throughout my own life and faith journey. I have come to different conclusions and understandings as I have journeyed forward in my life and faith. I have come to realize that this can be a most delicate and difficult balancing act for us as believers. It can be a constant battle and struggle to keep the balance of the scales of what and how we allow our culture to influence our life and to what extent or how we are able to influence and impact on our culture.  At times it seems that these issues and questions are most complicated. Some would say that we can have no part of this world and we must be totally separate to be able to set an example. Others would argue to make the case, “No, we have to be in this world if we wish to influence it, for how can we influence something if we are not in it?” Some would argue middle ground and seek balance. In seeking the balance, some would look to the guidance and measure of “cause not your brother to stumble in your choices and actions” (I Corinthians 8:13). Then some voices would express the idea of the potential slippery slope, and let not oneself be unbalanced and be weighed down on the side of the scale of cultural influence to the point that you no longer have a revealing and useful influential salt for the world. In considering the matters of one’s faith one may ask, “How do I go about achieving this balanced scale between being in the world and not of the world? How do I influence my culture but yet not be swept away by the ways and influence of my culture?” These are most relevant and valid considerations and questions, worth reflecting upon and answering. I’m not all-knowing. I don’t have all the answers. I’m not perfect. There are things in my life that I’m quite sure some would say are too much of the world’s influence on me. I can only present my observations and reflections upon the matters which I present in this book. I can only speak for myself. That being said, in my own life and faith journey, this is the conclusion I have come to for me and my life. For me, there are several answers to these questions. First, I think in all things, but relevant to this specifically, we can look to Jesus and His ultimate example. He was in this world on earth for 33 years, but at no time or point was He of or from this world. We can gain much from that in all matters of life and our faith journey. Another part of the answer is that yes, we are given this black and white command of being in this world but not of this world, meaning we are to always point others to God and the love and salvation of Jesus. However, there is much gray in how we each go about that. When I say gray I do not mean wavering in one’s beliefs or compromising on truth and God’s word. What I do mean by the gray in the black and white of this command is that we are all unique, special, and different individuals, and so how we are able to be salt or light and have influence on our culture is going to be unique and different from person to person because of one’s gifts, talents, and beliefs. The other part of

Now I See  Now as, Jesus passed by,  He saw a man who was blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, saying, “ Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?” Jesus answered,  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,  but that the works of God should be revealed in him. must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”  When He had said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.  And He said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which is translated, Sent). So he went and washed, and came back seeing. Therefore the neighbors and those who previously had seen that he was [b]blind said, “Is not this he who sat and begged?”  Some said, “This is he.” Others said, [c]“He is like him.” He said, “I am he.”  Therefore they said to him, “How were your eyes opened?” He answered and said, “A Man called Jesus made clay and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to [d]the pool of Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed, and I received sight.” Then they said to him, “Where is He?” He said, “I do not know John 9: 1 – 9 (NKJV) Imagine it is an ordinary day just like any other, but it is full of hope and potential. A loving couple knew they were about to embark on an incredible new journey of a lifetime with the arrival of their new baby. One day, in November of 1978, in Houston, Texas, the couple welcomed into this world and into their lives a baby girl. By all accounts, all was well and amazing for this baby girl and her parents. Like in any good movie or story, an unexpected twist occurs for this couple and their baby. The mom-to-be had a very easy pregnancy. Once she was given her epidural, she and her husband played cards waiting for her labor to start!  The mom called her mother to let her know she was in delivery so the soon-to-be grandmother could start her drive to Houston. Delivery was easy. The mom-to-be’s water had broken at home, but she wasn’t having any labor pains so they had to start a pitocin drip to speed things along.  It was a girl, and mom and baby were safe, happy, and healthy. The baby girl had significant jaundice, and edema (unexplained swelling), so they stayed a couple of days in the hospital. That way the baby could get what she needed, and the hospital stay extended for five days. The grandmother was able to stay to be a part of helping for weeks.  Not long after she went home, the father got a tree, and they decorated it for the holidays. At the baby’s one-month checkup, the pediatrician asked if the baby had ever looked at her mama…focused on the mom. The mom of the baby said no. She had not been overly concerned because it was her first, and she didn’t know how the baby’s eyes were supposed to behave. The question, though, unsettled the new mom a bit. The mom put her new baby girl in the bassinet beside the Christmas tree, but the baby didn’t notice the lights. The mom thought to move the bassinet to the other side of the tree, thinking her baby girl might prefer looking to the other side. No difference. Then, the mom started to be more unsettled.  The new mother noticed her baby’s eyes were never still.   At the two-month checkup, same question, same answer. Then again, at the three-month checkup, same question, same answer. Then, their pediatrician said, “This has gone on long enough. You need to see a pediatric neurologist.” The pediatric neurologist looked through the baby’s eyes with his little light; he couldn’t see the baby’s optic nerves (because they were so pale, it turns out), so he informed the parents, “Your daughter is blind; she doesn’t have any optic nerves. He wanted the couple to go and see a pediatric ophthalmologist who could advise them regarding how to proceed from here.”  This next step in this journey led them to an amazing pediatric ophthalmologist. This pediatric ophthalmologist was widely known so much that people traveled from out of state to bring their children to see her. She examined the baby’s eyes and said, “She does have optic nerves; they were just so pale pediatric neurologist couldn’t see them. However, your baby is blind. She explained that it was optic nerve atrophy, which meant it would not get better. The parents were informed that atrophy only continues to get worse.” The parents asked if their baby could see anything at all. She responded that perhaps she could distinguish between light and dark, maybe shadows.  As anyone else would be, the parents wanted to know if anything could be done, such as surgery. The answer was no. To this day, in 2021, there is still no course of correction. The parents also asked about treatment. Again, the answer was no. The problem was there was not enough blood flowing through the optic nerves, and there was no way to stimulate blood flow. Of course, and most understandably, the parents left the doctor’s office devastated. They went to their parked car, talked, cried, then prayed, and, upon praying, believed that God would heal their baby girl. Never once did they doubt it. Once they got home, they called our church First Baptist Church, Houston, TX. They called friends and relatives and asked them to start praying and to have their churches start praying for their baby girl’s healing.   Word spread at the church, and a compassionate man they did not know, would go to the nursery on Sundays, hold the baby girl, put spit on her eyes, and pray for the baby. The parents were informed by

Resources for the Journey Ahead in Grief and Loss NOTE: There is an immense, endless amount helpful, supportive, valuable resources out there to encourage you as you travel through grief and loss and how to navigate this journey. There are tons of a books, websites, podcasts, support groups, communities on social media and local groups in your community among others. I have simply provided the handful I have come across since I have been on my own journey. The key is to seek out, ask the questions, and find what works for you that will equipped and empowered you to travel your own journey and thrive in life. https://www.griefshare.org https://amzn.to/34X5PGp https://amzn.to/3fWt35L https://bit.ly/3v28qt2 https://bit.ly/2TJwdB7 Https://amzn.to/3uVRapD https://bit.ly/3z2TKx8 Exercise and Endorphins  https://amzn.to/3v1JLVB https://bit.ly/3g212K6     When Disappointments Leave You Shattered      By: Lysa Terkeurst  https://amzn.to/34YysmI https://grievewithease.com     By: Jennie Allen https://a.co/d/6bGaN2p https://www.wingsforwidows.org https://widowsempowerment.com Resources for Solo/ Single parenting: https://thelifeofasinglemom.com/national-resource-guide-new https://www.singleparentproject.org https://www.focusonthefamily.com/resources-single-parenting https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/a-single-parents-path-to-community https://parentshelpingparents.org/single-parents https://esthersmo.com/2024/12/14/programs-for-single-mothers https://www.singleparentprovision.org https://www.buckner.org/family-pathways https://www.youngunitedparents.org/parenting/strategies-and-resources-for-single-parents https://www.singleparentconnection.org https://www.singleparentswellbeing.com/blog/navigating-grief-as-a-single-parent-practical-tips-for-coping-and-healing https://www.wingsforwidows.org/popular-articles/adjusting-to-being-a-single-parent https://www.myfarewelling.com/article/navigating-the-grieving-process-as-a-single-parent 21. Centering.org https://centering.org/single-parent-grief/?srsltid=AfmBOoqasrL7ZiJrEnP_QFUh4uUp7dburIMsLPkwRqw7z0S6VzajP3TW 22. Risen Motherhood  https://www.risenmotherhood.com/podcast-episodes/grief-08-widowed-single-motherhood-an-interview-with-lisa-appelo 23. Widows Empowerment Trust https://widowsempowerment.com/news-%26-blog/f/becoming-a-single-parent 24. Family Rising.org  https://wearefamiliesrising.org/resource/helping-children-recover-from-grief Recommended Readings:  1) The Bible (Always!!!) 2.) the Scriptures for the Course 3.) All books in the FindIng Grace Through Grief series       Parts 1 – 3: Currently on Amazon      Parts 4 & 5: Coming Soon Additional/Suggested Reading: 1.) Now I See… A Lifetime of Learned Truths along my Journey                            Through LIfe 2.) GriefShare: Through A Season of Grief…. 365                          Devotions for Your Journey from Mourning to Joy 3.) Joni Eareckson Tada: Diamonds in the Dust 4.) Lysa Terkeurst It’s NOt Suppose To Be this Way 5.) Rick Warren – ‘A Purpose Driven Life’ 6.) Marshawn Evans Daniels 100 Days of Believing Bigger 7.) Jenny Allen:       Get out of your Head… Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts       Get out of Your Head… UnTangle Your Emotions 8.) Tauren Wells: Joy Bomb…. Unleash Jesus’s Explosive Joy for a                                                    Extraordinary Life